Archive for July 2008

Who has time for this?

July 16, 2008

It’s quite funny that my last post was what it was. Over a year ago, and my last post was about the campaign for equal marriage in California. SO MUCH has happened since then. Marriage Equality has become the LAW in California–and I am now seventeen days from my own wedding.

We went to the county offices the first day that licenses were available to same-gender couples. At first Melinda was hesitant, but then she decided that we should go. The night before when we were talking about it, first she was worried about the crowds and the chaos–and then she decided that we needed to go, needed to be part of history; and then she was fussing about traffic and parking, when my brother, who was visiting for a few days, offered to drive us there–at first she declined, and then about an hour later accepted. There were four sites in LA County where we could go, and we intentionally went to the “just folks” location nearest to us. My brother dropped us off, and went away to have his coffee and read the newspaper. We got there well before the offices opened, and got in line with maybe 60 couples ahead of us. As we were talking with the people around us, all of a sudden I saw my car drive by. My brother (very straight, 6’6″ 275# construction worker-type) had gotten so caught up in the whole thing that HE had to be part of history too. He parked the car, greeted us, and then went and sat in the back row to absorb the love of the day.

It was tempting to go ahead and get married that day there at the courthouse. But we had decided a long time ago that when we get married, it would be in church–in our church. And so we came home with our license, and a lot of wonderful memories.

Our church is a small Presbyterian church that is committed to justice issues, including LGBT inclusion. We have been members there for almost all of the 15-plus years that we’ve been together, and part of the leadership there for most of that time. So it was no surprise to the pastor when we approached her about performing our wedding. She was ready right then, but in the Presbyterian system, the governing body (the Session) is a party to such decision-making; when the pastor brought it to the Session, they unanimously approved our request.

So then we chose a date. August 2, 2008. The invitations went out a few weeks ago. We started getting responses almost immediately. Everyone who has responded has been enthusiastic and excited for us. We’ve only had one marginal reaction, no overt negative ones. And we have a great variety of people who are coming: church people, neighbors, family members, work friends; Democrats and a few Republicans; gay and straight; young and old (our youngest guest is 6, and our eldest is 94); and people of all colors–European-Americans, Filipinos, Mexican-American, African-American, and a number of multiethnic individuals (as well as multiethnic couples).

All people who want to say yes to us, and yes to love.

So now there are a million things to do. We’re having the wedding at church, but the reception is going to be in our back yard. We’ve sort of figured out what we’re doing about food and beverage, but we have to make it happen. An artist friend is helping with the decor at both the church and home. Others have said that they’ll help, they’ll bring food. One dear friend told me early on that “this thing will take on a life of its own” and that people will offer to help–and that we should accept their offers. We have, and it really helps me to stay in a more-or-less calm place, and even the often-frantic Melinda is doing quite well.

Now I have to go. I have a service to write!